Jews call for 'Day of Anger'
In a rare combined statement, reactionary cartels The Board of Deputies and UJIA have called for a countrywide ‘Day of Anger’ for Anglo-Jewry. Declaring that it is time that the timid community stood up for itself, the statement yells ‘anger should be our new watchword’.
Although a date has not yet been set for the anger, it is believed that the day, aimed at a venting of Jewish spleen, will be sometime during Pesach when it is hoped that the Chief Rabbi will lead the Jewish people out of the suburbs, and towards retailers who sell affordable foods with taste.
Chief amongst the list of grievances felt by the community is the lack of an overground rail-link between places such as Golders Green, Mill Hill, Hampstead and Stanmore. “Whilst we are clear that this does not amount to anti-Semitism”, declared Harry Greenstein of The Board of Deputies, “we do feel that this represents a creeping hatred of Jews by Transport for London and its jewhater leader Ken Livingstone”. Greenstein also pointed out just how offensive the current system was for the majority of North London Jews who ‘don’t do the underground’, nor are mentally able to leave outer North London
The UJIA was also keen to point out just how much the Jews have to be angry about. “The price of kosher meat is unacceptable. We feel that salt beef and chicken soup are basic Jewish human rights and must be subsidised by the Government. How they can pay for council housing and religious education but not ritual slaughter is beyond me’. The spokeswoman added that whilst she was clear that talk of banning shechita was not anti-Semitic, it did represent a clear “widespread hatred of jews”.
Finally, anger is to be directed at the outpourings of Jewhaters in the media. “It is clear”, said Greenstein, “that whilst overt anti-Semitism is no longer possible, the anti-Jewish conspiracy has found other outlets. How else can you explain the backlash against the 4x4s so beloved of the Jewish people? The massive dangers to pedestrians and over consumption of fuel are just a smokescreen for Jewhating.” Asked whether the conditions for Jews were nevertheless a vast improvement on those of their hand-to-mouth ancestors, he countered “Yes, but still not as good as the goyim.”
Planned activities involve a ‘go slow’ of 4x4s around the north circular, a boycott of kosher aisles in Tesco, letters to the Jewish Chronicle and disruption of Mosques.
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