Likud: Trying to get it Right.
Recent times have not been easy for the Likud. Outflanked in the elections on the right by Yisrael Beitenu, by Kadimah on the left, United Torah Judaism and Shas from above and by the disengagement from below. Things have not been made easier by rumours that Likud’s sole condition for entry into a Kadimah led coalition had been that the IDF should engage in targeted assassinations of Meretz and other left-wing activists.
The suggestion that left wing activists should be targeted by the IDF had been mooted in the run up to the elections by the National Jewish Front, although they failed to win a Knesset seat. The idea has since received widespread support within the Likud. Spokesman Dov Weisglass pointed out that no Meretz activists had ever been killed during a protest, but that it was common for Palestinians to be shot or injured during demonstrations. Weisglass argued that this shows an essential asymmetry between Meretz and the Palestinians. “ Israel is a democracy and seeks to treat everyone alike. The Palestinians and leftists like Meretz both seek to destroy the state of Israel . There is a clear moral equivalence.”
Yossi Beilin speaking from his palatial home had an alternative explanation. “When was the last time you saw the left protest? The left have not taken to the street for years.” He emphasised the point by leaning back and sipping his chardonnay. An unnamed United Torah Judaism (UTJ) spokesman with a large hat also criticised the Likud position. “While we would recognise someone like Yossi Beilin or Uri Averny as a legitimate target, we do not feel that any such attacks could justify the costs involved. With the high oil price, apache helicopter flights are increasingly expensive. It is also possible that Hamas or Islamic Jihad might launch revenge suicide bombings in solidarity.” An Islamic Jihad commander in the West Bank laughed off such suggestions. “This man is nuts. Even compared to us, he is completely nuts. We hate Meretz more than we even hate Ariel Sharon. They are atheists as well as Zionists. They do not just sleep with their mothers, but their fathers also.”
Asked about a recent incident that occurred when Benjamin Netanyahu visited Ariel Sharon in hospital, Weisglass denied that Netanyahu had tried to switch off the former Prime Minister’s life support machine. “There was a bit of a mix up. It was dark in the room, and Bibby thought he was reaching for the light switch. And when he appeared to be strangling his old rival he was in fact engaging in the trational Likud bear hug, passed down all the way from Jabotinsky. Anyway, Sharon is not really relevant to Israeli politics. What I want to concentrate on is Likud. We are a forward-looking party not a collection of loony rightists. That is why we are keen to abolish the position of President and replace it with the King of Judah and re-establish the Sanhedrin in Eilat (in one of the larger hotels)".
"What we must do", continued Weinglass, "is to put some clear blue and white water between ourselves and Kadimah. We need to show that Kadimah are just a bunch of pussies. They talk all the time about the West Bank , but what about Jordan , Lebanon and Egypt ? Saying these are not part of Israel is just anti-semitism. We need all Israelis to know where we stand. In the recent election 227 Arabs voted for Likud. This is unacceptable."
