News From the Jews
New “very unorthodox service” has its trial
A group of Jews fed up of traditional “Orthodox” reformed liberal Jewish services have set up their own Saturday morning minyan. The service, though based on the traditional Jewish service, also had other influences such as Taoism, capitalism and journalism. The service was also very flexible, allowing for an optional Torah Service, with the Shema shortened to simply the one word: Shema. To make the service more stimulating for regular attendees, 6 themed services have been written. These include Bollywood, London, the Chassidic Hat and Brazil. The founding member of the service Michael Castro said “this is place where we can all feel happy with our own total lack of observance and piety. However despite only existing for 2 weeks a split has appeared between 2 founding members. The row broke out about a congregant who went shopping in the morning before the service and then put frozen kosher meat, including pork in the fridge where the service is being held. "We don't really care about halaka that much" said Castro "but if you're going to have a bacon butty, at least do it somewhere, where other jews won't see, like Reading, or Doncaster.
New Approaches to Jewish Dating
With the advent of broadband, internet dating has become more popular than ever and Jews are no acceptation to that. Websites such as JDate, JCafe, and the short lived JOrgy have become so popular that nearly everyone knows someone who dated through it. However, new website www.desperateforajewishwedding.co.uk is different. It isn’t really aimed at people looking for current girlfriends, instead, it's for setting up your potential jewish wed, years in advance, in the case of finding no one else. The website allows you to set a year, or date that you would have wanted to be married by before reverting to marrying one of your “last chance” weds. Ideally you should enter into an agreement with 5 or so potential partners, in the hope that at least one will still be available when the time comes. Developer of the website Erez Sobel explained that this was only his first stage in this attempt to find every jew, a jewish wed of some sort. He is currently trying to find an organisation to help him convert willing non-jewish Thai and Russian girls to Judaism. Though he failed to convince even the most progressive of established Jewish institutions, he is confident that the newly formed “Very Unorthodox Synagogues of Great Britain” will be interested.
Fire Brigade Called after Hugo Chavez look alike seen in Kosher Deli
The fire brigade was called to a north Manchester kosher deli after someone who looked like Hugo Chavez was seen looking through the kosher dried fruit section. Staff member Edward Solomon got concerned when he saw the man nervously selecting kosher food in his shop. “I was scared that the socialist terrorist Chavez could have let off a bomb in the shop”. The Hugo Chavez look alike was in fact 60 years old Israeli Shimon Moses. He said “how could be I be compared to the monster Chavez, I’m a pure Jew”. The police have since released him with a caution.
