Weird 100

Following hot on the heels of the JC's power 100 list, jewdas can unveil its compilation of britain's 100 weirdest jews. We've scoured all sections of the community, from secret attics in Eastend synagogues to the murky offices of the UJIA. Here is the first installment. In no particulart order:

Philip (with his seven wives), Brighton based Old Testament King and polygamist.

Monty Goldman, serial candidate for the communist party in hackney

Benjamin Pell, aka benji the binman, a professional muckraker who makes a decent living going through rubbish, specialising in stealing waste.

Richard Benson, alleged head of the secret Jewish vigilante group, 'CST'

Stephen Pacht UK director of Jews for Jesus. If any of our readers doubt that the man is jewish, they will be please to hear that before his current job he worked as an accountant.

Marcus Weston . Investment Banker and Kabbalist. Teacher at the Kabbalah Centre. Driven to the Kabbalah Centre by his previous membership of St John's Wood United Synagogue.

Rabbi Abraham Grohman. Macher of Naturei Karta UK. Had to be escorted away by police for his own safety during the
traditional Purim burning of the Israeli flag.

Neville Nagler. His fame and success is purely down to alliteration.

Geoffrey Alderman, forgetting his hilariously absurdist comment pieces in tje JC, he deserves to be know a) for his appearance, making him 'the uber united synagogue jew') and b) his comedy 'east end twat' voice which belies his attempt at gravitas. Daughter of "no, I'm not a lesbian, honest" Naomi .

Aaron Barschak "Comedy Terrorist", who famously turned up to Prince William's Birthday Party univited. Less famously, he turned up uninvited to a Jewdas party, but here received a better welcome, and was immediately given an on stage spot.

Perhaps you have come across some weirdos for jewdas to celebrate. Email us in confidence jewdas@gmail.com

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Jaques Derrida. Huge figure in modern philosophy, from a Sephardic-Jewish family. Famous for creating concepts such as 'deconstruction' and 'diferrance' and was apparently obsessed with his circumcised member.Karl Marx. Known for a) founding communism and b) his powerful beard.Emma Goldman. American Jewish anarchist, feminist and inspired radical.Martin Buber. Philosophical powerhouse and expert on Hasidism. Supporter of bi-national state for Arabs and Jews in Palestine.Rosa Luxembourg. Revolutionary, but unorthodox socialist. Leader of the German Spartacist uprising of 1918.Leon Trotsky. Bolshevik leader who promoted worldwide revolution. Was assaninated by Stalin's henchman in Mexico, demonstrating the risks of beach holidays.Albert Einstein. The big cheese of twentieth century science. Famous for his theory of relativity and refusing to become president of the state of Israel.
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