It’s a tough life being Melanie Phillips. When all your neighbours are crypto communists, lesbian single mothers and self hating Jews, what’s there to smile about? In an age where non-one understands the greatness of Donald Rumsfeld, where the media is obsessed with mythical problems such as global warming and real men have been emasculated by between islamo fascist bolshevik feminists, who can help but look miserable.
Jewdas therefore announces our new, Make Melanie Smile campaign. We encourage our readers to send Ms Phillips things that would cheer her up, and remove her rather glum demeanour. Perhaps you know of gay couples splitting up? Or single mothers having their children taken into care? Or an increase in carbon dioxide emissions?
Send them all to Melanie at email@example.com. Ask her to reply with photos of her smiling. These are rare artefacts, and will no doubt become collectors items