UJIA: The Musical

This one’s for all the youth movements out there…

(To the tune of YMCA)

Young Jews, your summer camps are so fun
We let you think, that they’re “democratically” run
I said Young Jews, you can think what you want
As long as you love Israel

Young Jews, Israel’s pretty much fine
I said Young Jews, don’t teach about Palestine
Or we won’t fund you, and your youth movements will die
On a few, rich Jews you rely

You need your funding from the UJIA
Don’t disobey us or We Will Not Pay
You’re democratic, but we get the final say
Just in case you kids vote the wrong way

You need your funding from the UJIA
Saying Kaddish for Gaza, Is Not O Kay
We inspect you each year, and control what you do
To ensure you’re the right kinda Jews

Young Jews, don’t mourn when Israel kills
I said young Jews, remember who pays your bills
We will phone up, and force your mazkirut
to condemn you on facebook

Young Jews, embody Jewish values
Youth movements, you get to do what you choose
But remember, justice has its limits
When it affects Israel’s right to exist

You need your funding from the UJIA
You must be zionist or We Will Not Pay
Non-zionism is not, an acceptable view
If you want us to count you as Jews

You need your funding from the UJIA
We fund every Jewish org In The UK
You can’t escape us, we have total control
We decide who’s on the payroll

Young Jews, please stop making a fuss
I said young Jews, don’t democratise us
We like to decide, where our wealth goes
Like the modern day pharaohs

Each year, we make youth movements compete
For our money! – well we are the elite
We want to see you, cheer the Jewish state
Tell your kids: Israel is great

You need your funding from the UJIA
For Palestinians you must never pray
They are all terrorists, even their kids
Don’t mention Gaza in your bids

UJIA we censor every Thing That You Say
Young jews, young jews you must support the jewish state
Young jews, young jews nonzionism is what we hate

UJIA you need your funding from the UJIA
Young jews, young jews you must obey us
Young jews, young jews don’t democratise us

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1 thought on “UJIA: The Musical”

  1. This one’s for all the Jewdas traitors out there…

    (To the tune of YMCA)

    Young Goys, stop hating on Frum Yids
    I said, young goys, stop insulting teenage kids
    I said, young goys, ’cause you’re all commie scum
    Why does being frum make you glum?
    Young goys, no-one thinks you are jews
    I said, young goys, all you spew is fake news
    You support Labour, and they’re antisemites
    You are a disgrace to all jews

    Jewdas aids and abbetts antisemites
    They’re nothing but far-left wing parasites
    They had a seder night with sworn antisemites
    And their amateur trolling bites
    Jewdas aids and abbetts antisemites
    They’re nothing but far-left wing parasites

    You’re ovdei koichavim, you’re the new misyavim
    Yet you all think you’re yehudim!
    Young goys, do you believe in G-d?
    I said, young goys, Corbyn thinks you’re all odd!
    I said, young goys, you’re a bunch of loose screws
    And you’re not halachically jews!
    No self-respecting politician
    Says you take Judaism’s position
    Get over it, Stalin is dead and gone!
    Your rubbish Yiddish fools no-one!
    Jewdas aids and abbetts antisemites
    They’re nothing but far-left wing parasites
    They had a seder night with sworn antisemites
    And their amateur trolling bites
    Jewdas aids and abbetts antisemites
    They’re nothing but far-left wing parasites

    You’re ovdei koichavim, you’re the new misyavim
    Yet you all think you’re yehudim!

    Young goys, your Birthwrong trip is dead
    I think I’d like to learn Torah instead
    Or just become a chabad shaliach
    Far from you second-rate koirach
    When’s the last time you did mitzvot?
    Or learnt at least one of the mishnayot?
    You’re a shanda to your yiddeshe kop!
    Commies just use you as a prop!
    Jewdas aids and abbetts antisemites
    They’re nothing but far-left wing parasites
    They had a seder night with sworn antisemites
    And their amateur trolling bites
    Antisemites… You ain’t nothing but antisemites
    Young goys, young goys, just a bunch of traitors
    Young goys, young goys, lovers of dictators
    Antisemites… You ain’t nothing but antisemites
    Young goys, young goys, just a bunch of traitors
    Young goys, young goys, lovers of dictators
    Antisemites… You ain’t nothing but antisemites
    Young goys, young goys, bootlickers of Hamas!
    Young goys, young goys, they don’t have a Jew Pass!

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